Thursday, September 27, 2012

Dagnabit, candy corn!

"The worst thing about Halloween is, of course, candy corn. It's unbelievable to me. Candy corn is the only candy in the history of America that's never been advertised. And there's a reason. All of the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911. And so, since nobody eats that stuff, every year there's a ton of it left over. And the candy corn company sends the guys to the villages and they collect out of the dumpsters all the candy corn we've thrown away. They wash it!! They wash it!

I'll never forget the first time my mother gave me candy corn. She said, "Here - Lewis, this is candy corn. It's corn that tastes like candy". [high pitched sound] This tastes like crap! And every year since then, Halloween has returned and I, like an Alzheimer's patient, find myself in the room, and the room has a big table in it, and on the table is a bowl of candy corn. And I look at it as if I've never seen it before. "Candy corn", I think. "Corn that tastes like candy. I can't wait". Son of a bitch!!

-- comedian Lewis Black, from The Daily Show"


Via
1) I love Lewis Black. He speaks the truth in a very angry manner that I find amusing.

2) I actually feel the exact opposite as he does about Candy Corn, and I'm mad at it because I ate too much of it. So I'm really mad at myself, but let us agree to place the blame on candy corn.

It tastes deliciously syrupy, since it's mostly made of sugar and chemical dyes. Plus, it comes in little bites and so you take a few because hey, a few bites can't be that bad for you, how many calories can be in something that's only .5 inches long? And then you mindlessly eat them and they're delicious, and then it's like well, I'd better get another handful since they only come out once a year. And by then you have consumed five handfuls and your stomach is revolted by the saccharine sweetness and you realize you made a really big mistake.


Via

And then the next day someone puts out a new bowl of candy corn and you know what? It only comes out once a year, so...

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