Where I have been.

I haven't been posting lately because nothing fun has been happening. This is because I work on contracts, and I have been waiting for my next contract to be ready since mid-October. This means that I have been on forced staycation for a month and a half. 

Pros: I know I am getting another contract, so I don't have the same fears as someone who is unemployed.

Cons: I refuse to go anywhere or do anything fun because most of that costs money, and since I am not currently getting a paycheck, I am trying to live as frugally as possible.

Now, many of us wish for a month-long vacation from work. I know I will again when I'm back. However, it has a way of making one feel guilty, lazy, and eventually, bored.

As proof, I submit this list of things I have done since I've been home:

1. Slept til noon more often than I care to admit.

2. Deep-cleaned the entire apartment (I cleaned the walls. I did that.)

3. Told my cats multiple times that they are my best friends.

4. Caved and read Fifty Shades of Grey. Then bought the rest of the trilogy.

5. Painted my fingernails (I hate wearing nail polish on my fingernails.)

6. Forced myself to get out of the apartment once a day to at least go to the gym.

7. Scrapbooked.

8. Checked e-mail and Facebook obsessively.

9. Gotten my Christmas shopping done way early.

10. Taken many many photos of my cats. See below.

And that is a current summation of my life.

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A Message from the Greatest Generation (NSFW)

I know this is a little late, but let us consider it a celebration that the candidate I voted for won. Also, who doesn't love foul-mouthed elderly people?

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Apples to apples.

 We rented a gorgeous house in the Shenandoah Valley (except that it was on top of a mountain and not in the valley) for the weekend with some of my awesome museum peeps.

In the morning there was lots of fog, but otherwise the view out these windows was amazing.

Our mountain-retreat cum beach-shanty.

We spent our Saturday picking apples, eating apple-cider donuts, napping, and cooking up a delicious fall feast with a roast and vegetables and home-made pumpkin pie (in reality, so my co-worker's wife did all the cooking and I just ate).

In the evening we ran around the yard, played board games and laughed at ourselves.

 Now I'm sitting on my couch with all the lights on, the TV blaring and the computer running so I can make the best of my electricity before Sandy takes it out. See you all on the other side.

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Awesome Grandmas.

This last weekend B and I went camping with my grandparents. When we got to the campsite, my grandmother was inside her camper reading. I asked her what she was reading, as she's not really a "reader" per se. Her response?

Fifty Shades of Gray.

My 73 year old grandmother is reading Fifty Shades of Gray. 

Me: "What? Mom-Mom!"

Her: "I didn't know what it was about when I bought it! I just knew that it was a best-seller. Don't tell your grandfather what it's about."

She seemed scandalized, however...I noticed she continued reading it throughout the weekend. Then she offered to give it to me when she was done because, as she says "You might learn something."

I love her.

Other prettiness from the weekend:

I haven't been posting much lately because honestly, I just haven't been feeling it. I want to make sure I only post when I want to and this doesn't become some sort of obligation that I start to hate. And that I'm not getting boring and documenting what I had for lunch, etc. So I'm only going to post things that I find amusing, things that I want to remember, and cool pictures. I'm not going to worry about doing so on a schedule, especially since not many people read anyway. That being said, if you do read this...I hope you enjoy it.

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If men could get pregnant, abortion clinics would be like a Starbucks...

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He liked it so he put a ring on it.

I knew it was coming, and I was LOSING MY MIND over it. I couldn't wait. The morning of, we were planning to go for a hike (we had been planning a backpacking trip, but that got nixed because of possible rain the next morning and I can't say I was sorry). I was anxious all morning and finally I said to B, look, I have to tell you that I'm on edge because I feel like this might be our engagement weekend and if it isn't then you should just tell me so I can get on with it and enjoy our day together.

B: "Well, I don't want you to be sad..."

Me: "That's all I need to know."

So we went out to Western Maryland and jumped on to the Appalachian Trail. I hauled my butt up some steep hills and then-THEN-we stumbled onto a copperhead snake. In case you didn't know, they are poisonous. I thought we were going to die. We stared at it for a while and then gingerly walked around it while it eyed me menacingly.

Let me stop here to point out that I had some hints that it was coming: B asked if I was going to do my hair for dinner that night (he's not usually into that kind of detail). He also asked me what I was wearing hiking, which was REALLY odd. He double checked that we had the camera and extra batteries. He was being really lovey on our hike (which I enjoyed, of course, but I knew).

We got to this overlook, which was gorgeous, bee-tee-dubs:

It was also freezing and extremely windy.

And we sat down on the rock and huddled against the wind together. B looked at me and said "I lied to you this morning." My heart dropped, he said lots of sweet things that I will keep to myself, and we were engaged :)

Me really happy.

Huddled against the cold. Warmed by love, etc.

Then we sat down on a rock and ate our peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

Also, Happy Birthday to me!

I love cake.

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Born to be wild...or something.

Saturday B and I took our first trip together on his motorcycle. I drove out to his parents' town, where he keeps it in his brother's garage, and we went all over the little towns and mountains out in his part of Western Maryland.

We stopped in a local state park and walked down to an overlook with a great view of his hometown. I may  have slipped and fallen on my butt because my boots have no traction. I've skidded across Constitution Avenue in them too...perhaps I should do something about that.

Dastardly steps.

Sexy biker babe.

Middletown

I look like a man because I'm wearing my dad's old motorcycle jacket. At least I'm hoping that's why.

Meanwhile the kittens enjoyed sleeping in boxes.

       

I call this "Truman with toys in box."

Also, apparently I was really into yellow last week:

People made fun of my rain boots, but I had dry feet and they didn't, so the jokes on them.

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It's Friday...Office Birthdays

When someone has to be in the office on their birthday, you do your best to make it good. This generally means decorating with whatever leftover decor you have from other parties, ordering pizza for lunch and giving them a card filled with insults from their coworkers. At least that's how it goes around here.

D was already scheduled to recieve a new office chair, so we thought, what better way to celebrate his birthday than with his brand spanking new chair?

We had Halloween decorations and 30th birthday spiral hanging things so we said "eh, they'll do" (even though D is turning 56, not 30) and slapped them all over his chair.

We also had a contractor in a box.

Nothing says "I love seeing you more than I see my own family and trying to complete impossible projects with you, procrastinating with you and raging against the machine with you" than the office birthday.

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Dagnabit, candy corn!

"The worst thing about Halloween is, of course, candy corn. It's unbelievable to me. Candy corn is the only candy in the history of America that's never been advertised. And there's a reason. All of the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911. And so, since nobody eats that stuff, every year there's a ton of it left over. And the candy corn company sends the guys to the villages and they collect out of the dumpsters all the candy corn we've thrown away. They wash it!! They wash it!

I'll never forget the first time my mother gave me candy corn. She said, "Here - Lewis, this is candy corn. It's corn that tastes like candy". [high pitched sound] This tastes like crap! And every year since then, Halloween has returned and I, like an Alzheimer's patient, find myself in the room, and the room has a big table in it, and on the table is a bowl of candy corn. And I look at it as if I've never seen it before. "Candy corn", I think. "Corn that tastes like candy. I can't wait". Son of a bitch!!

-- comedian Lewis Black, from The Daily Show"

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1) I love Lewis Black. He speaks the truth in a very angry manner that I find amusing.

2) I actually feel the exact opposite as he does about Candy Corn, and I'm mad at it because I ate too much of it. So I'm really mad at myself, but let us agree to place the blame on candy corn.

It tastes deliciously syrupy, since it's mostly made of sugar and chemical dyes. Plus, it comes in little bites and so you take a few because hey, a few bites can't be that bad for you, how many calories can be in something that's only .5 inches long? And then you mindlessly eat them and they're delicious, and then it's like well, I'd better get another handful since they only come out once a year. And by then you have consumed five handfuls and your stomach is revolted by the saccharine sweetness and you realize you made a really big mistake.



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And then the next day someone puts out a new bowl of candy corn and you know what? It only comes out once a year, so...

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Overheard in...DC

On the Metro at rush hour last evening. Two parents are frantically trying to keep their little boy and girl with them in the crush and ensure they all get on the same train together.

Little boy, poking his sister: "I know what the carpet tastes like."

Dad: "...and we don't need to find out again do we? Don't lick the carpet."

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Three days off. Here's what I have to show for it (hint: not much).

I am coming down off of a 3 day weekend and its always hard to come back to work but I shall persevere. 

Friday after a doctor's appointment I had lunch and went shopping with my mom. The kittens were the big winners from that trip as I got them lots of toys.

Cuddles with his new squishy.

A little high off the catnip mice.

Being off also meant I got to wear comfy clothes and indulge my new found passion for leggings.

Saturday we slept late and did a short hike to a local little waterfall.

The shirt I got him in Hawai'i.

B took me to Famous Dave's for dinner since I love BBQ but have never been there. Let me tell you, it was worth it. I had a delicious pulled pork sandwich WITH COLESLAW ON IT (I am big on food mixing) and broccoli that I chose because I felt like it was the healthy option but it was really, really good so I'm pretty sure it must've been smothered in butter but oh well.

This weekend also marked the return of the Mickey Mouse antennae topper.

Also this:

                                                        

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This is a rant.

Last night there was a storm that rolled through D.C. and B-more. It knocked out the signals along the train tracks. It resulted in a 3 hour train ride home, during which I really had to pee but was reluctant to give up my seat so I just held it and squirmed. As we neared the 2 hour mark of sitting with strangers in a tin can my Nook's battery light started blinking. No! I screamed silently to myself. For what would I do without entertainment? Stare out the window and get increasingly angry, most likely. Not that I wasn't already angry. Especially when the conductor kept getting on the intercom to ask us to "please be patient." I'm being patient now stop asking me to because every time you do Iwanttopunchyouintheface. I finally made it home around 8 p.m., giving me just enough time to eat, shower, and go to bed so I could get up and do it all over again this morning.

 

Then this morning, there were still train problems, resulting in a 3 hour commute back in to work, and leaving me with 2 hours to make up out of my own time. At one point the conductor actually announced that the engineers were "talking about moving the train." Id've laughed if I didn't feel like cryin'. Once I got to D.C. the Metro was all effed up, but I did finally make it to work.

 

Now, I try to keep my perspective about these things. It wasn't anyone's fault we got stuck, and the conductors were doing all they could to get us home (after all, they had to get home too). And having a commute means I have a job right? Right.

 

That's part of the problem. See, there's no one to be angry at. I'm stuck on a train with hundreds of other strangers who work in D.C. and thus usually think that they are more important than everyone else and have to get home/to work on time, as if the rest of us don't, and...I just have to shut up and take it. I'm at the mercy of the train once I step aboard, and there's nothing I can do about it. And while I tell myself that there are many, many reasons why this isn't a big deal (it means I have a job, I live in one of the most prosperous nations in the world, I have the privilege to take a comfortable train to work, etc.), the moral of the story is: I'm still pissed off. And I wish there was someone to whom I could direct my anger so I could just punch them in the face and feel better.

 

End rant.

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Grati-Tuesday (including video!)

1. Laying in bed, luxuriating in the twilight that is the hazy time right before you fall asleep, and B just whispers "our life is awesome."

2. Weather where I can break out my leggings and its considered appropriate.

                                              

3. The Muppets are having a moment and I couldn't be more pleased to see them back. Witness here the Fraggles crashing Ben Folds Five's new single:



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What weekends are for.

This weekend was absolutely fabulous. Saturday after I got my beauty sleep (this is key to weekend happiness) we took a stroll down a winding mile or so trail that leads to an old mill town by the river.

Just last month two girls were killed when a train overturned as they sat on the edge of this trestle bridge (not a recommended activity, btw. Best to stay away from train tracks in general, as a rule) and its load of coal was dumped on top of them. Today there is barely any trace of the accident. How quickly we move on, though those girls' families lives were changed forever.

Up the hill from the bridge is a little cafe called Bean Hollow. When we take the trail B and I like to grab a table and a coffee and just people watch for a little while. It's always an eclectic group: older couples, new, teenage couples, parents with their kids decked out in soccer gear, a couple of motorcycle riders. It feels comforting that we all partake in this little ritual together, though our lives are so different. Maybe the world would be a better place if we all had time to sat down and had coffee together...



Spiced Caramel Apple Latte



B and a Maple Bar Mocha.

B opened a small drawer in the table we were sitting at and found an awesome cache of napkins on which people had written notes. Kind of like a local Post Secret. Napkin Secret. Some were sweet, some were silly, and some were heartrendingly sad. It was such a fun little find (though I declined to add my own napkin. I don't need strangers reading my secrets).

Saturday night was a rare date night. B picked the restaurant, the only qualification being that it have outdoor seating, since it was absolutely gorgeous here in Baltimore this weekend (high 70s, no humidity, a rarefied event). It was an Irish pub in Harbor Place, a mall/open air plaza right on the water, and the best part about it was the view (since, to be honest, the food was so/so and the service not so great).

View of the Constellation from our table.

There was a band down below us and people were dancing. It was another moment where I felt in connection with everyone around me, all of us enjoying the simple pleasures of a warm night and free music down by the harbor. After dinner we got Rita's, for which we had a coupon for buy one get one free, which made it even more delicious than usual, if that is possible. I know they're going to close soon and I am sorely disappointed. I do believe that they should let the indoor locations remain open year-round. I'd eat that business in the dead of winter.

B's Blue Moon and my Dark and Stormy

Watchin'

Dancin'

Sunday was for church, a loooong nap, and a skating session that was sorely needed after a couple of weeks off. I'm determined that this will be the week I finally defeat the last of the fleas hanging on to Truman and Tesla. You are on notice, fleas. Beware. Oh, also, my shows start coming back! Bones and Big Bang Theory I know start this week. Especially excited for Big Bang.

Now I'm just trying to start the week off on a good foot with some hot tea and a link up with these fine folks:

                                         

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